As a Jamaican Canadian who has called Canada home for more than half of my life, my journey has been filled with both joy and struggle. After over 20 plus years of marriage, my husband and I decided to part ways, leading me to start a new chapter of my life. Little did I know, this separation would become the start of the most transformative period of my life.
During my marriage, I often found myself consumed by anxiety, my body twitching uncontrollably, and tears flowing endlessly. While I sometimes understood the reasons behind these emotions, other times, they seemed inexplicable. I had unknowingly carried the burden of mental abuse and trauma throughout my relationship, believing it was something I had to endure. In silence, I internalized my feelings, fearing that no one would understand.
Being trapped in a cycle of people-pleasing and occasional outbursts became my norm, as I struggled with feelings of inadequacy. For years, I accepted feeling less than a woman, thinking that was the only reality available to me. I had witnessed the women I loved and trusted endure abuse and infidelity, and they chose to stay. I followed their example, believing the mantra that it was better to have 80% of a man than none at all.
It was three years after my separation that my healing journey truly began. Unbeknownst to me, I had been sabotaging myself for years, unaware of the patterns I had fallen into. Seeking guidance, I started counseling while simultaneously launching my own business, Savage Desires. This venture was born out of my quest to overcome my own sexual insecurities and discover pleasure through adult toys.
At Savage Desires, I sold countless adult toys and hosted Desires parties for women, where I taught them how to please their partners in every way, but I didn’t teach them how to ask for what they wanted. However, a pivotal moment arrived when a client confided in me, expressing her dissatisfaction despite using the toys. This sparked a realization deep within me, leading me to question my own fulfillment because I too was wondering what was next.
I recall having a conversation with someone and I started to tell her a story of my past relationship and she told me that I need healing and to seek counsel and as a Jamaican that wasn’t a thing, My ego was huge but it got chopped down fast I had so many questions, so I sought therapy to unravel the layers of my emotional journey. Through this process, I confronted tons of buried emotions and experiences buried deep in my subconscious. However, my greatest breakthrough occurred when I learned to listen to my body and embrace silence. In that transformative moment, everything changed.
My journey toward healing and self-discovery has been hard, but it has also been incredibly rewarding. I continue to work on myself, knowing that self-growth is a lifelong commitment. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to embark on their own journeys of healing and self-empowerment. Together, we can break free from the chains that bind us and embrace the freedom to live our lives authentically and fearlessly.
My coach changed my life so much, so I started my own practice and the healing journey of every person that I work with completes me, it’s so rewarding to see the smile, joy, and winning smiles on all the women I work with.