• (905) 903-8175
  • donna@iamdonnasavage.com
Book Consultation

Author: Donna Savage

Categories
Blog

Embracing Submission

In today’s world, discussions about gender roles and relationships often stir up passionate debates and differing opinions. I recently found myself immersed in one such conversation while listening to a friend’s podcast. She was delving into the concept of female submission within relationships, advocating for the idea that allowing the masculine energy to lead can be a powerful and fulfilling choice for women. As I reflected on her words, I couldn’t help but find resonance in my own life.

The notion of submission, particularly in the context of a romantic relationship, tends to be a loaded and misunderstood one. Many people immediately associate it with a domineering “do as I say” attitude, an image that understandably raises concerns and resistance. However, my friend’s podcast made me realize that the true essence of submission when approached with balance and mutual understanding, can lead to a more harmonious and enriching connection between partners.

I consider myself a submissive woman, but it’s essential to emphasize that my submission comes with conditions. It’s not about blindly following orders or suppressing my own desires and needs. Instead, it’s a conscious choice to allow my partner to take the lead, provided he understands the delicate dance of balancing his masculine and feminine energies. In such a relationship, the phrase “your wish is my command” takes on a different meaning altogether. It becomes a beautiful expression of love, trust, and mutual respect.

For me, being submissive means allowing my partner to guide our journey together. It’s about recognizing his strengths and valuing his wisdom, just as I hope he recognizes mine. It doesn’t diminish my independence or intelligence but rather complements them. This form of submission is not about relinquishing power but sharing it, creating a partnership where both partners bring their unique qualities to the table.

The misconception surrounding submission arises from a failure to grasp its true essence. It’s not about one person wielding authority over another; it’s about nurturing a connection based on authenticity and trust. Sadly, societal conditioning often pushes us into survival mode, where we become hardened, protecting ourselves from vulnerability and the potential for heartache. In this survival mindset, we might perceive submission as a weakness when, in reality, it requires incredible strength to be vulnerable and open in a relationship.

In our quest for equality, we sometimes forget that equal does not mean identical. Men and women are inherently different, not just biologically but also in the energies they bring to a relationship. By embracing our femininity and allowing our partners to embrace their masculinity, we can create a beautiful synergy where each person’s strengths are celebrated.

I have found that submission, when done right, fosters a deep sense of intimacy. It’s about surrendering the need to control every aspect of the relationship and instead, letting love and connection flourish. It’s about communicating openly, setting boundaries, and understanding that both partners have an equal say in shaping the partnership’s direction.

In conclusion, I believe that the word “submission” should not be feared or dismissed based on its dictionary definition. It’s a concept that can be redefined and molded to fit the unique dynamics of each relationship. My personal journey has taught me that submission, when embraced with conditions that promote balance and mutual respect, can be a powerful force for building a strong, loving, and harmonious connection. It’s a choice I make willingly, with my heart wide open, because I understand that true submission is not about losing oneself but about discovering a deeper, more authentic love.

Categories
Blog

The Surprising Truth About Why Men Crave Intimacy Too

In a world that often places a heavy emphasis on traditional gender roles and expectations, it’s crucial to recognize that men, just like women, need intimacy and emotional connection. The misconception that men are impervious to emotions or are solely focused on being providers has long overshadowed the fact that they too experience a wide spectrum of feelings and desires. It’s time to debunk these stereotypes and explore why men need intimacy and emotional connection just as much as anyone else.

During a heartfelt conversation with my partner, the significance of this revelation truly struck me. He candidly expressed that men often yearn for intimacy and the ability to openly show their emotions, yet they often struggle with how to navigate this territory. It’s easy to forget that men experience hurt, joy, fear, and love just like women do. The societal conditioning that emphasizes emotional restraint and detachment has led to a situation where men may not feel entirely comfortable expressing their vulnerabilities.

We, as partners, have an essential role to play in addressing this imbalance. It’s our responsibility to create a safe and accepting space where men can authentically reveal their emotions without fear of judgment. While they may have been raised with the notion of being strong and stoic, it’s important to encourage an environment where they can freely express their feelings, thoughts, and concerns.

One crucial step in this journey is communication. As partners, we should actively engage in open and honest discussions about desires, both within and beyond the confines of the bedroom. By taking the initiative to ask questions such as, “How can I make your day better?” or “What do you need emotionally?” we extend an invitation for men to articulate their needs and preferences. We must recognize that men are not immune to external pressures and internal struggles, and by demonstrating our willingness to listen and support, we can help alleviate some of the burdens they carry.

In our pursuit of fostering deeper intimacy, celebrating the positive aspects of our relationships becomes paramount. Rather than dwelling on past hurts and conflicts, we should strive to focus on the moments of joy, connection, and growth. This shift in perspective can infuse new life into our relationships and enable us to navigate challenges with a more constructive mindset.

Creating opportunities for intimacy is another fundamental aspect of nurturing emotional connections. These opportunities need not be grand gestures; even simple acts like setting aside quality time for meaningful conversations or engaging in shared hobbies can go a long way in fostering intimacy. By prioritizing these moments, we reinforce the idea that emotional connection is a vital component of our relationship’s foundation.

It’s crucial to understand that all relationships experience highs and lows. Accepting this reality and actively working through difficult moments is what strengthens the bond between partners. By embracing vulnerability and supporting one another during challenging times, we demonstrate our commitment to the relationship’s growth and resilience.

Learning about each other should be an ongoing process. As individuals evolve, so do their desires, dreams, and needs. Taking the time to understand these changes not only fosters intimacy but also enhances the overall connection between partners. Engaging in regular conversations about aspirations, fears, and future plans can help bridge emotional gaps and promote a deeper understanding of one another.

The belief that men are impervious to emotions or only seek physical connections is a misconception that needs to be shattered. Men, just like women, require emotional intimacy, vulnerability, and understanding. By creating a safe and non-judgmental environment, actively communicating, celebrating positivity, and embracing vulnerability, we can help men feel more empowered to express their emotions and nurture more profound connections in our relationships. Ultimately, it’s a joint effort that enables both partners to flourish emotionally, creating a bond that is not only resilient but also deeply fulfilling.

Categories
Blog

Embracing the Menopause rest

As a proud GenX’er, I never thought that menopause would become such a significant part of my life. It felt like a distant event that only happened to older women no I’m one. Little did I know that this transformative phase would knock on my door sooner than I anticipated. But I’ve come to realize that menopause isn’t a death sentence; instead, it’s a chance to shed my old skin and embrace a new beginning.

They say that cells regenerate every seven years, constantly renewing and building to replace damaged ones. In a way, menopause is like a reset button for our bodies, urging us to become better versions of ourselves. It’s a time to be accountable and listen to our body’s wants and needs.

Until recently, many of us, including myself, were unaware of what menopause truly entailed. We associated it with night sweats, fatigue, and dryness, but there’s so much more to it. After delving into extensive research, I came face to face with the true cause and effects of menopause, and it was eye-opening. It could make us feel less than ourselves if we don’t understand it and care for ourselves properly.

Sadly, menopause was never up for discussion in the generation before us. Just like puberty and sexual health were hush-hush topics back in the day, menopause remained hidden in the shadows. But it’s time to change that. Knowledge is power, and the more we understand about our bodies, the better we can navigate through this journey called menopause.

Interestingly, men experience their own version of menopause called Andropause, which is barely talked about as well. It’s essential to recognize that they too face some of the symptoms that women go through. So, ladies, take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in this transformative journey.

One of the most common concerns my clients bring up is their sexual health and confidence during menopause. It’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive and unsure during this period of change. But remember, confidence is a state of mind, and we must not compare our journey to anyone else’s.

Throughout this personal odyssey of menopause, I’ve learned to prioritize my sexual health. It’s vital to have open conversations with your partner and healthcare provider to address any concerns or issues. I discovered that there are numerous resources and solutions available to enhance sexual wellness during this time. From hormonal therapies to lubricants and more, there’s a myriad of options to explore.

Equally important is embracing the changes happening in our bodies and learning to love ourselves throughout the process. Menopause is not a sign of decline but a gateway to self-discovery and growth. By nurturing our bodies with healthy habits, exercise, and self-care, we can make this journey smoother and more empowering.

So, to all my fellow GenX’ers embarking on the menopausal journey, I say this: Embrace it with an open heart and a curious mind. Take the time to understand what your body needs and honor it with compassion. Seek support from those who have walked this path before you, and don’t be afraid to share your experiences with others.

Menopause is a personal story, unique to each one of us. Let’s break the silence and shatter the taboos surrounding this transformative phase. By doing so, we empower ourselves and future generations of women to approach menopause with grace, confidence, and a sense of adventure. Embrace the menopausal reset, for it holds the key to unleashing your full potential and living life to the fullest.

Categories
Blog

Healing and Self Discovery

As a Jamaican Canadian who has called Canada home for more than half of my life, my journey has been filled with both joy and struggle. After over 20 plus years of marriage, my husband and I decided to part ways, leading me to start a new chapter of my life. Little did I know, this separation would become the start of the most transformative period of my life.

During my marriage, I often found myself consumed by anxiety, my body twitching uncontrollably, and tears flowing endlessly. While I sometimes understood the reasons behind these emotions, other times, they seemed inexplicable. I had unknowingly carried the burden of mental abuse and trauma throughout my relationship, believing it was something I had to endure. In silence, I internalized my feelings, fearing that no one would understand.

Being trapped in a cycle of people-pleasing and occasional outbursts became my norm, as I struggled with feelings of inadequacy. For years, I accepted feeling less than a woman, thinking that was the only reality available to me. I had witnessed the women I loved and trusted endure abuse and infidelity, and they chose to stay. I followed their example, believing the mantra that it was better to have 80% of a man than none at all.

It was three years after my separation that my healing journey truly began. Unbeknownst to me, I had been sabotaging myself for years, unaware of the patterns I had fallen into. Seeking guidance, I started counseling while simultaneously launching my own business, Savage Desires. This venture was born out of my quest to overcome my own sexual insecurities and discover pleasure through adult toys.

At Savage Desires, I sold countless adult toys and hosted Desires parties for women, where I taught them how to please their partners in every way, but I didn’t teach them how to ask for what they wanted. However, a pivotal moment arrived when a client confided in me, expressing her dissatisfaction despite using the toys. This sparked a realization deep within me, leading me to question my own fulfillment because I too was wondering what was next.

I recall having a conversation with someone and I started to tell her a story of my past relationship and she told me that I need healing and to seek counsel and as a Jamaican that wasn’t a thing, My ego was huge but it got chopped down fast I had so many questions, so I sought therapy to unravel the layers of my emotional journey. Through this process, I confronted tons of buried emotions and experiences buried deep in my subconscious. However, my greatest breakthrough occurred when I learned to listen to my body and embrace silence. In that transformative moment, everything changed.

My journey toward healing and self-discovery has been hard, but it has also been incredibly rewarding. I continue to work on myself, knowing that self-growth is a lifelong commitment. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to embark on their own journeys of healing and self-empowerment. Together, we can break free from the chains that bind us and embrace the freedom to live our lives authentically and fearlessly.

My coach changed my life so much, so I started my own practice and the healing journey of every person that I work with completes me, it’s so rewarding to see the smile, joy, and winning smiles on all the women I work with.

Categories
Blog

Sexy is a state of mind

Sexy is a state of mind, it’s not about the shape of your body, or how People see you.

In a world that often equates sexiness with physical appearance, it’s essential to challenge this prevailing notion. Society bombards us with images of airbrushed models and the idea that only a specific body shape can be considered attractive. However, the truth is that being sexy is not solely determined by our physical attributes. It is a state of mind that transcends the boundaries of appearance and is more about self-confidence, attitude, and embracing one’s individuality. In this blog post, we will explore why sexy is indeed a state of mind, unaffected by societal standards or the opinions of others.

Self-Confidence and Self-Acceptance:

  1. Feeling sexy begins with self-confidence and self-acceptance. It’s about embracing and loving yourself, regardless of your body shape, size, or physical features. When you feel comfortable in your own skin and radiate self-assurance, others are naturally drawn to your charisma and energy. True sexiness comes from within, and it is rooted in accepting and celebrating your unique attributes.

Attitude and Personality:

  • One’s attitude and personality play a crucial role in determining sexiness. It’s not about conforming to a specific mold but rather about being authentic and genuine. A person with a positive outlook, a sense of humor, and a kind heart exude a magnetic charm that goes beyond physical appearance. It’s the way they carry themselves, their confidence, and their ability to make others feel comfortable that makes them truly attractive.

Embracing Individuality:

  • Every person is unique, and embracing one’s individuality is the essence of sexiness. Instead of striving to fit into society’s narrow definition of beauty, celebrate what makes you different. When you are true to yourself and express your personality, passions, and interests, you become irresistible. Being sexy means embracing your quirks, flaws, and imperfections, as they contribute to your distinctive allure.

Emotional Intelligence and Connection:

  • Sexy goes beyond the physical realm and delves into emotional intelligence and the ability to connect with others. It’s about being present, empathetic, and understanding. When you genuinely listen and engage with people, they feel valued and appreciated, which fosters a deep sense of attraction. Emotional intelligence and the capacity for meaningful connections create an allure that surpasses any physical appearance.

Confidence in the Bedroom:

  • Sexiness also extends to the intimate sphere of our lives. Being comfortable and confident in the bedroom is not about conforming to societal expectations or trying to meet unrealistic standards. It’s about open communication, mutual respect, and embracing your desires and boundaries. True sexiness lies in the ability to connect intimately with a partner, creating an environment of trust, exploration, and pleasure.

In conclusion, it’s time to redefine what it means to be sexy. Sexy is not about conforming to societal beauty standards, obsessing over body shape, or seeking validation from others. It is a state of mind that stems from self-confidence, embracing individuality, and fostering meaningful connections. By shifting our focus away from external appearances and embracing our unique qualities, we can truly embody sexiness. Remember, sexy is a state of mind that belongs to everyone, and it’s time to celebrate our authentic selves. So, embrace your individuality, radiate self-confidence, and let your inner beauty shine. You are sexy, just the way you are.

Categories
Blog

Sensuality and the Caribbean Culture

Sensuality and the Caribbean Culture

As a native of Jamaica, I understand the complex and often conflicting attitudes towards sensuality in Caribbean culture. On the one hand, we have a rich musical tradition that celebrates the body and its movements, particularly in the form of dance hall music. But on the other hand, sensuality is often viewed with suspicion and even demonized in some circles.

One reason for this is our history of colonialism and the legacy of slavery, which has left deep scars on our psyche as a people. The dominant culture during that time period viewed sensuality as a threat to their moral values and attempted to suppress it in various ways. As a result, many Caribbean societies developed a tendency to shame or repress any expression of sexuality or sensuality, particularly among women.

This attitude persists today in many parts of the Caribbean, where talking openly about sensuality is still considered taboo. There is a pervasive fear of being seen as promiscuous or immoral, especially for women, who are often held to stricter standards than men. This can create a culture of silence and shame, where people feel like they can’t express their desires or explore their sexuality without being judged or ostracized.

Moreover, traditional gender roles in Caribbean culture often place a heavy burden on women to conform to certain expectations of femininity, including being submissive and obedient to men. This can create a toxic dynamic where women are expected to sacrifice their own needs and desires in order to please their partners or maintain a relationship, even if it is abusive or unhealthy.

As a result, many women in the Caribbean have lost touch with their own sensuality and femininity, feeling disconnected from their bodies and their own desires. They may be struggling with issues such as low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression as a result of this disconnection.

However, there is hope for change. Many people in the Caribbean are working to challenge these outdated attitudes and create a more open and accepting culture around sensuality and sexuality. This includes movements to promote sexual education, advocate for women’s rights, and create safe spaces for people to explore their desires and identities.

As an educator, I believe that it is important to talk openly and honestly about sensuality and sexuality, in order to create a more inclusive and healthy society. By breaking down the taboos and stigmas that surround these topics, we can help people to feel more comfortable in their own skin, develop healthy relationships, and embrace their own unique identities.

In conclusion, the issue of sensuality in Caribbean culture is complex and multifaceted, influenced by historical, cultural, and societal factors. While there are still many challenges to overcome, there are also signs of progress and hope for the future. By working together to create a more open and accepting culture, we can help to empower people to embrace their own sensuality and lead fulfilling, joyful lives.

Categories
Blog

The story I would tell my younger self about intimacy.

Let me tell you a story about my younger self and my odd ways of thinking about love and relationships. (Like most women who confuse sex and love).

Back in the day, I used to think that my Vagina was some sort of magical bargaining tool that I could use to keep my partners engaged. Yeah, you heard me right, I thought that if I gave them what they wanted in the bedroom, they would stick around forever.

Wrong! No matter how much I tried to please them, they always found a way to cheat on me. And that’s when I realized that my idea of love was completely screwed up.

I thought that love was all about sex, but it wasn’t. Love was about understanding who you are and what your heart truly desires in a relationship. It’s not about manipulating your partner or trying to keep them interested by using your body.

Looking back, I can’t help but laugh at myself. I was so naive and clueless about what real love was all about. But hey, we all make mistakes, right? It’s a part of life and growing up.

Now I know that true connection comes from being honest and open with your partner. It’s about sharing your thoughts, feelings, and dreams with them. It’s about respecting each other’s boundaries and needs, and not trying to change them to fit your own desires.

So, if you’re out there thinking that sex is the key to a successful relationship, think again! Love is so much more than that. It’s about building a strong emotional bond with your partner, and that takes time, effort, and a lot of heart.

My advice to you is this: be true to yourself and what you want in a relationship. Don’t use your body as a bargaining tool, because that’s not love, that’s manipulation. Instead, focus on building a deep connection with your partner, based on honesty, trust, and mutual respect. And who knows, maybe you’ll find the true love you’ve been searching for all along!

I’m speaking to Women of all ages!

Categories
Blog Uncategorized

Over Stimulation of the adult toys

The market for sex toys is experiencing a surge in popularity, but little attention has been paid to the potential risks of overstimulation. As a result, many women are experiencing desensitization of the clitoris, with 80,000 nerves being damaged by excessive use of high-power settings on these toys. For most women, clitoral stimulation is crucial to achieving orgasm, and the loss of sensation in this area can have a significant impact on their sexual experiences.

It is important to note that sex toys can provide a safe and enjoyable means of sexual exploration, and many people find them to be an effective way to enhance their sexual experiences. However, as with any form of sexual activity, it is important to exercise caution and be aware of the potential risks. In the case of sex toys, overstimulation can lead to a loss of sensitivity in the clitoris, which can have long-term effects on sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

For women who rely on clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm, the loss of sensitivity in this area can be particularly distressing. Many women are unable to experience orgasms through penetration alone and rely on clitoral stimulation to reach climax. The desensitization of the clitoris can make it much more difficult or even impossible to achieve orgasm, which can lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment.

To prevent overstimulation and the associated loss of sensitivity, it is important to use sex toys responsibly and in moderation. This may mean starting with lower power settings, and gradually increasing intensity over time. It is also important to take breaks between uses to allow the clitoris to recover and regenerate.

Overall, while the sex toy market continues to grow, it is important for individuals to be aware of the potential risks and to use these products responsibly. By taking precautions and using sex toys in moderation, individuals can enjoy the benefits of sexual exploration without compromising their long-term sexual pleasure and satisfaction.

Categories
Blog Uncategorized

Women dating over 50

Finding the right partner later in life can be a different experience for women over 50. However, with the right approach and a bit of intentional effort, it is possible to find the right person and build a happy and fulfilling life together. Here are some tips specifically tailored for women over 50 in their search for a husband:

  1. Embrace your age: Women over 50 have a wealth of life experience and knowledge, and this is something to embrace and be proud of. This means being confident in who you are, what you have to offer, and what you are looking for in a partner. By embracing your age, you can attract a partner who is also confident and comfortable with themselves.
  2. Be realistic: Women over 50 may have a different set of priorities and expectations when it comes to finding a partner. It is important to be realistic about what you want and what you can achieve, and not hold onto unrealistic expectations from your younger years.
  3. Utilize your existing networks: Women over 50 often have a vast network of friends, family, and acquaintances that they have built over the years. Utilize these networks to meet new people and find someone who is a good match for you. Joining social clubs, taking up new hobbies, or volunteering in your community can also be great ways to meet new people.
  4. Be open-minded: While it is important to have a clear idea of what you want in a partner, it is also important to be open-minded and willing to compromise. This means being willing to consider different personalities and lifestyles, and not ruling someone out just because they don’t fit your ideal picture perfectly.

Take your time: Finding the right person takes time, and it is important not to rush into a relationship just because you feel like you should be settling down. Taking your time will allow you to get to know potential partners on a deeper level, and make sure that you are both on the same page before making a commitment.

In conclusion, finding the right partner later in life is a journey that requires effort and intentionality. By embracing their age, being realistic, utilizing their existing networks, being open-minded, and taking their time, women over 50 can increase their chances of finding the right person and building a happy and fulfilling life together. So, if you are a woman over 50 looking for a husband, don’t be afraid to go out there and be intentional in your search. The right person is out there, and with a bit of effort, you can find them and start building a life together.

Categories
Blog Uncategorized

Intimacy Allignment

The concept of love languages and personality types is a commonly discussed topic in relationships, however, there is another important aspect that is often overlooked – Intimacy Zone Alignment.

Intimacy zones refer to the level of comfort and vulnerability that individuals feel in different areas of their life, such as physical touch, emotional expression, and personal space. When two people are in a relationship, it is crucial that their intimacy zones align in order for them to have a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Unfortunately, one of the leading causes of divorce is a misalignment of intimacy zones in the bedroom. A lack of physical intimacy or sexual incompatibility can put a strain on the relationship and lead to feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction.

Another top reason for divorce is finance. Money issues can cause tension and conflict in a relationship, and when not addressed, can escalate into bigger problems. Financial disagreements can stem from a variety of issues, such as differing spending habits, unequal earnings, or disputes about financial goals.

It is essential to acknowledge and address these challenges in a relationship to avoid a misalignment of intimacy zones and maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This can be done through open and honest communication, seeking outside help from a therapist, and trying to understand each other’s perspectives and needs.

It is important to note that intimacy zones can shift and change over time, so it is crucial to continually check in with each other and make adjustments as needed.

By understanding and aligning your intimacy zones, you can build a stronger and more resilient relationship that will withstand any challenges that may come your way.

In conclusion, while love languages and personality types are important in relationships, it is also crucial to pay attention to intimacy zone alignment. A misalignment of intimacy zones in the bedroom and finance can lead to major problems in a relationship and should be addressed to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship

Donna Savage, founder of Savage Desires, she is a mother, Certified Sensuality, Confidence and NLP Coach, Talk Show Host, International Speaker and an author, her article have been featured in ByBlacks.com, regular speaking assignment to several abused women shelter and sexual health organizations.

Donna is a Toronto resident, and has been in business for 12 years, she is helping to create space to individuals who wants to become a better version of themselves through strategic planning and executions.

Facebook-f Instagram

Main Menu

Newsletter