June 2023 - Donna Savage

As a Jamaican Canadian who has called Canada home for more than half of my life, my journey has been filled with both joy and struggle. After over 20 plus years of marriage, my husband and I decided to part ways, leading me to start a new chapter of my life. Little did I know, this separation would become the start of the most transformative period of my life.

During my marriage, I often found myself consumed by anxiety, my body twitching uncontrollably, and tears flowing endlessly. While I sometimes understood the reasons behind these emotions, other times, they seemed inexplicable. I had unknowingly carried the burden of mental abuse and trauma throughout my relationship, believing it was something I had to endure. In silence, I internalized my feelings, fearing that no one would understand.

Being trapped in a cycle of people-pleasing and occasional outbursts became my norm, as I struggled with feelings of inadequacy. For years, I accepted feeling less than a woman, thinking that was the only reality available to me. I had witnessed the women I loved and trusted endure abuse and infidelity, and they chose to stay. I followed their example, believing the mantra that it was better to have 80% of a man than none at all.

It was three years after my separation that my healing journey truly began. Unbeknownst to me, I had been sabotaging myself for years, unaware of the patterns I had fallen into. Seeking guidance, I started counseling while simultaneously launching my own business, Savage Desires. This venture was born out of my quest to overcome my own sexual insecurities and discover pleasure through adult toys.

At Savage Desires, I sold countless adult toys and hosted Desires parties for women, where I taught them how to please their partners in every way, but I didn’t teach them how to ask for what they wanted. However, a pivotal moment arrived when a client confided in me, expressing her dissatisfaction despite using the toys. This sparked a realization deep within me, leading me to question my own fulfillment because I too was wondering what was next.

I recall having a conversation with someone and I started to tell her a story of my past relationship and she told me that I need healing and to seek counsel and as a Jamaican that wasn’t a thing, My ego was huge but it got chopped down fast I had so many questions, so I sought therapy to unravel the layers of my emotional journey. Through this process, I confronted tons of buried emotions and experiences buried deep in my subconscious. However, my greatest breakthrough occurred when I learned to listen to my body and embrace silence. In that transformative moment, everything changed.

My journey toward healing and self-discovery has been hard, but it has also been incredibly rewarding. I continue to work on myself, knowing that self-growth is a lifelong commitment. By sharing my story, I hope to inspire others to embark on their own journeys of healing and self-empowerment. Together, we can break free from the chains that bind us and embrace the freedom to live our lives authentically and fearlessly.

My coach changed my life so much, so I started my own practice and the healing journey of every person that I work with completes me, it’s so rewarding to see the smile, joy, and winning smiles on all the women I work with.

Sexy is a state of mind, it’s not about the shape of your body, or how People see you.

In a world that often equates sexiness with physical appearance, it’s essential to challenge this prevailing notion. Society bombards us with images of airbrushed models and the idea that only a specific body shape can be considered attractive. However, the truth is that being sexy is not solely determined by our physical attributes. It is a state of mind that transcends the boundaries of appearance and is more about self-confidence, attitude, and embracing one’s individuality. In this blog post, we will explore why sexy is indeed a state of mind, unaffected by societal standards or the opinions of others.

Self-Confidence and Self-Acceptance:

Feeling sexy begins with self-confidence and self-acceptance. It’s about embracing and loving yourself, regardless of your body shape, size, or physical features. When you feel comfortable in your own skin and radiate self-assurance, others are naturally drawn to your charisma and energy. True sexiness comes from within, and it is rooted in accepting and celebrating your unique attributes.

Attitude and Personality:

One’s attitude and personality play a crucial role in determining sexiness. It’s not about conforming to a specific mold but rather about being authentic and genuine. A person with a positive outlook, a sense of humor, and a kind heart exude a magnetic charm that goes beyond physical appearance. It’s the way they carry themselves, their confidence, and their ability to make others feel comfortable that makes them truly attractive.

Embracing Individuality:

Every person is unique, and embracing one’s individuality is the essence of sexiness. Instead of striving to fit into society’s narrow definition of beauty, celebrate what makes you different. When you are true to yourself and express your personality, passions, and interests, you become irresistible. Being sexy means embracing your quirks, flaws, and imperfections, as they contribute to your distinctive allure.

Emotional Intelligence and Connection:

Sexy goes beyond the physical realm and delves into emotional intelligence and the ability to connect with others. It’s about being present, empathetic, and understanding. When you genuinely listen and engage with people, they feel valued and appreciated, which fosters a deep sense of attraction. Emotional intelligence and the capacity for meaningful connections create an allure that surpasses any physical appearance.

Confidence in the Bedroom:

Sexiness also extends to the intimate sphere of our lives. Being comfortable and confident in the bedroom is not about conforming to societal expectations or trying to meet unrealistic standards. It’s about open communication, mutual respect, and embracing your desires and boundaries. True sexiness lies in the ability to connect intimately with a partner, creating an environment of trust, exploration, and pleasure.

In conclusion, it’s time to redefine what it means to be sexy. Sexy is not about conforming to societal beauty standards, obsessing over body shape, or seeking validation from others. It is a state of mind that stems from self-confidence, embracing individuality, and fostering meaningful connections. By shifting our focus away from external appearances and embracing our unique qualities, we can truly embody sexiness. Remember, sexy is a state of mind that belongs to everyone, and it’s time to celebrate our authentic selves. So, embrace your individuality, radiate self-confidence, and let your inner beauty shine. You are sexy, just the way you are.